Saturday, September 1, 2018

Life, Death and dated undies

Soooo time for my yearly blog post

days of the week undies
Available from The Warehouse
I had a minor health scare a month or two back and ended up in the AMU (Acute Medical unit) for a week, basically an infection in the heart, which wasn't really helped by me initially dismissing my symptoms, and then not bothering to tell the doctor all my symptoms, so I ended up on the wrong medication, and it got worse.

Anyway after arriving at hospital and then knocking myself out half an hour later, i was lying on a hospital bed slightly incoherent, when i suddenly became obsessed with whether I was wearing the correct undies.

 As the old saying goes, "Always put on clean underwear in case you are hit by a bus", but what about dated underwear and by dated I don't mean underwear with flares and velour, but underwear with the day of the week emblazoned on it.

I have this style of underwear, it was going cheap "Thursday" was missing from one pack and "Tuesday" from another pack, so I got two packs really cheap, they're undies and who cares what they look like, I am not a Millennial who works around with my jeans at mid thigh level to show off my undies, so its all good isn't it?, and i sure as heck don't wear them in order, basically whatever's top of the drawer goes on.

But no, I am lying in hospital on a trolley soaked in my own sweat, struggling to keep my eyes open with people all around and I keep getting this stupid thought in my head, "Its Thursday today but what day do my undies say", and of course I had no energy to check, my sweat soaked jeans seemed to have shrunk and become moulded tight to my body, all i am thinking is its going to be so gosh darned embarrassing to drop dead and then have the medicos find I am wearing Saturdays undies.

Yep it is stupid, but it was actually stressful, although while i was worrying about my undies I wasn't worried about anything else, so perhaps my brain decided to protect me by making me obsess over some unimportant detail.

So what have we learnt?

  1. Always tell the doctor all your symptoms, even if they seem insignificant to you
  2. Don't buy Undies with the days on them if you are paranoid about what people may thing and you are not OCD enough to wear them on the correct day

Oh and in case you are wondering, i was wearing a pair of plain non-dated undies.